return my video game
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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