and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
