i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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