Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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