At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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