I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
