Only a mothe r could love this liver
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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