Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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