I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
