So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
