Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
