Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
