batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize