Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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