When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
