just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize