I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
