operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
