glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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