I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
