loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize