can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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