We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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