Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I deserve this hangover.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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