Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
