Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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