I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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