Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
