ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
