But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
