what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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