mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
