nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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