Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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