As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
