I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
