i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Please don't give away my fajitas
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