Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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