Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
