This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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