I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
