Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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