dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
