ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
