I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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