did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
