You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
