So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
