john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
