I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
