I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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