I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.