Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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