I hope mine doesn't look like that
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Less talking, more tequila
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill