Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.