Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
