like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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