Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
