Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
