what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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