maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No subtext here. People are naked.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
