he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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